In two days Owen will have half of his left lung removed.
Am I afraid of having my baby go through such a major surgery? Absolutely!
This isn’t the first time I’ve faced a surgery that filled me with fear. At the age of 15, I learned I needed jaw surgery. I resisted the idea completely but finally agreed after persuasion from orthodontists, oral surgeons, and my parents.
The biggest fear I had with jaw surgery was throwing up. You see, when your jaw is wired shut (as mine was for six weeks), the act of vomiting can be fatal. My surgeon instructed me the carry wire cutters with me everywhere, just in case.
I was afraid of the future and afraid of dying. Yet it was through this surgery that God changed my life forever.
I had a lot of questions about death and heaven. If I were to die, would I go to heaven? I went into surgery with these questions unresolved. Days later, I was actively seeking answers.
It was Easter Sunday 1995. My face was still swollen from surgery, but I didn’t care: I wanted to know more about Jesus. Friends had invited me to their church’s Easter drama called The Passion Play. I attended, and it was there I found the answers I was looking for.
For the first time in my life, I saw who Jesus was. I had never before understood His love for me, but suddenly everything was changing. I understood how Christ’s death and resurrection made it possible for me to be forgiven and start a new life with Jesus. In that moment everything became clear to me, and I knew exactly what I wanted. I believed. I followed Jesus. And I’ve never regretted it since.
Now, 22 years later, I’m facing another surgery. This time it won’t be my own physical pain but my child’s. I’ve wondered what it will be like, wondered if I’ll really have the courage to do what is required of me.
It was in one of these quiet moments that I sensed God nudging my heart. “I’ve done great things in your life through surgery before, and I’m going to do it again.”
We’ve asked for healing. We’ve asked God to take this whole thing away. People from around the world have prayed for Owen, and God has answered in big ways.
But to be free of his CPAM, Owen needs surgery. It’s scheduled for noon on August 18, and we expect a four-day recovery in the hospital.
I don’t know the rest of this story, but I’m confident God will carry us through the tough times and use this for good.
Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is moving ahead in spite of your fear. If you’re not afraid, you don’t need courage. Courage comes because you’re scared to death but you also believe it’s what God wants you to do, so you do it anyway. —Rick Warren
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. —Joshua 1:9